Flogging the Quill

Flogometer 1133 for Martha — would you turn this page?

Hey, if you’re isolating like I am, get that trunk novel out and get to writing . . . and/or submitting the first chapter to the Flogometer to get free insights into how it’s working.

Submissions sought. Get fresh eyes on your opening page. Submission directions below.

The Flogometer challenge: can you craft a first page that compels me to turn to the next page? Caveat: Please keep in mind that this is entirely subjective.

Note: all the Flogometer posts are here.

What's a first page in publishingland? In a properly formatted novel manuscript (double-spaced, 1-inch margins, 12-point type, etc.) there should be about 16 or 17 lines on the first page. Directions for submissions are below—they include a request to post the rest of the chapter, but that’s optional.

Before you rip into today’s submission, consider this checklist of first-page ingredients from my book, Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling.

Donald Maass,, literary agent and author of many books on writing, says, “Independent editor Ray Rhamey’s first-page checklist is an excellent yardstick for measuring what makes openings interesting.”

A First-page Checklist

• It begins to engage the reader with the character
• Something is wrong/goes wrong or challenges the character
• The character desires something.
• The character takes action. Can be internal or external action: thoughts, deeds, emotions. This does NOT include musing about whatever.
• There’s enough of a setting to orient the reader as to where things are happening.
• It happens in the NOW of the story.
• Backstory? What backstory? We’re in the NOW of the story.
• Set-up? What set-up? We’re in the NOW of the story.
• The one thing it must do: raise a story question.

---

A reminder of what you’re after here. This blog is about crafting compelling openings. Not interesting, compelling. Why does it have to meet that hurdle? First, if your work is going to an agent, you’re competing with hundreds of submissions. You have to cut through that clutter and competition with powerful storytelling and strong writing. If it’s a reader browsing in a bookstore or online, the same goes—there are scores of published books competing with yours. Yeah, you need compelling.

---

Martha sends the first page of Ghost Child. As usual, the rest of the narrative is after the break.

The Oregon coast, 1855

Lettie, exhausted, thirsty, and heartsick, dragged her young son by the hand, wondering if either of them could possibly take another step.

But she knew the white “Moving Men” would beat them if they didn’t keep walking, walking, walking.

The white men took our land, now they are making us leave it.

The blows she’d endured stung and burned, but there was a much greater pain Lettie endured: memories of her home, burned to the ground. Her man, dead, shot by the white man’s gun because he would not leave the house he had built. A house with cedar logs over the great pit he’d dug, with stones he’d hauled.

We had to leave behind much wealth, she thought. So many things we need. Things I spent many days collecting, cleaning and setting aside carefully: shells, woodpecker scalps, grey pine seeds, and clamshell money. Money that would buy food for me, my man, and my boy.

She’d lost her moccasins somewhere, and now, the sharp rocks she stumbled across cut her bare feel so painfully that when she glanced back to see how far they’d come, she could see her own bloody footprints.

And next to her footprints were the smaller, bloody ones of Little Buck’s.

The voice is good here, and the writing sound. And we are thrust immediately into the troubles a sympathetic character is experiencing. A story question comes up right away: what’s going to happen next to this woman and her little boy? The writing is pretty tight, but here are some editorial thoughts:

Lettie, exhausted, thirsty, and heartsick, dragged her young son by the hand, wondering if either of them could possibly take another step. ”dragged” gave me an image of the person being dragged on the ground, being, as it were, towed by a hand. Maybe something like “pulled her little boy along”. ”young son” feels cold to me. I think “little boy” would better communicate age and gender in a more natural way

But she knew the white “Moving Men” would beat them if they didn’t keep walking, walking, walking.

The white men They took our land, now they are making us leave it. No need to repeat white men here

The blows she’d endured stung and burned, but there was a much greater pain Lettie endured much greater pain: memories of her home, burned to the ground. Her man, dead, shot by the white man’s gun because he would not leave the house he had built. A house with cedar logs over the great pit he’d dug, with stones he’d hauled.

We had to leave behind much wealth, she thought. So so many things we need. Things I spent many days collecting, cleaning and setting aside carefully: shells, woodpecker scalps, grey pine seeds, and clamshell money. Money that would buy food for me, my man, and my boy.

She’d lost her moccasins somewhere, and now, the sharp rocks she stumbled across cut her bare feel so painfully that when she glanced back to see how far they’d come, she could see her own bloody footprints.

And next to her footprints were the smaller, bloody ones of Little Buck’s.

I think this is a good start for a story that takes place in an interesting time.

For what it’s worth.

Ray

Tweet

Submitting to the Flogometer:

Email the following in an attachment (.doc, .docx, or .rtf preferred, no PDFs):

1. your title
2. your complete 1st chapter or prologue plus 1st chapter
3. Please include in your email permission to post it on FtQ.
Note: I’m adding a copyright notice for the writer at the end of the post. I’ll use just the first name unless I’m told I can use the full name.
4. Also, please tell me if it’s okay to post the rest of the chapter so people can turn the page.
5. And, optionally, include your permission to use it as an example in a book on writing craft if that's okay.
6. If you’re in a hurry, I’ve done “private floggings,” $50 for a first chapter.
7. If you rewrite while you wait for your turn, it’s okay with me to update the submission.

Were I you, I'd examine my first page in the light of the first-page checklist before submitting to the Flogometer.

Flogging the Quill © 2019 Ray Rhamey, excerpt © 2020 by Martha.

---

My books. You can read sample chapters and learn more about the books here.

Writing Craft Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling

Mystery (coming of age) The Summer Boy

Science Fiction Gundown Free ebooks.

 

Useful tips from another editor

I’m always interested in another editor’s take on what we do, so I checked out a Reedsy webinar with Kristina Stanley on Story Editing: How to Assess and Fix Your First Draft.

Here are a couple of highlights—there’s a lot more good thought and perspective in the webinar.

Your first scene should:

• Kick off or set up the inciting incident
• Introduce the protagonist
• Show the story's ordinary world
• Have struggle, emotional or physical
• Have dramatic tension
• Foreshadow something
• Create tone

No-no’s

• Too much backstory
• Flashback
• Description lists
• Explain too much
• Introduce every character

I learned things, including a model for a good story arc. I suggest you take a look.

For what it’s worth.

Ray

Dealing with fire

The lovely town I live in was hit by wildfire on Tuesday, and I've been without internet until now. Luckily, we have so far escaped unharmed, though some dear friends in neighboring Talent lost everything.

We're now dealing with hazardous air due to the smoke. Frankly, I haven't the focus or will to do a post today, so I just thought I'd let you  know.

Ashland hardly ever makes the national news, but there we were on MSNBC today.

Here's hoping it never happens again.

I'll see you next week. I hope.

Ray

Flog a BookBubber 324 E.H. Davis—how do you feel about bad guys opening the story?

Writers, send your prologue/first chapter to FtQ for a “flogging” critique. Email as an attachment. In your email, include your name, permission to use the first page, and, if it’s okay, permission to post the rest of the prologue/chapter.

Many of the folks who utilize BookBub are self-published, and because we hear over and over the need for self-published authors to have their work edited, it’s educational to take a hard look at their first pages. A poll follows concerning the need for an editor.

When you evaluate today’s opening page, consider how well it uses elements from the checklist of first-page ingredients from my book, Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling.

Donald Maass, literary agent and author of many books on writing, says, “Independent editor Ray Rhamey’s first-page checklist is an excellent yardstick for measuring what makes openings interesting.”

A First-page Checklist

• It begins to engage the reader with the character
• Something is wrong/goes wrong or challenges the character
• The character desires something.
• The character takes action. Can be internal or external action: thoughts, deeds, emotions. This does NOT include musing about whatever.
• There’s enough of a setting to orient the reader as to where things are happening.
• It happens in the NOW of the story.
• Backstory? What backstory? We’re in the NOW of the story.
• Set-up? What set-up? We’re in the NOW of the story.
• The one thing it must do: raise a story question.

---

Next is the first-chapter opening from Oblivion. A poll follows the opening page below. Should this author have hired an editor?

Armand Laurent picked a summer night when the moon, in its last quarter, shrouded his hiding place in total darkness.

Dressed in black, lying in a thicket a hundred yards from the target, he was nearly invisible. He peered through his binoculars at the farmhouse. Dark except for a fluorescent lamp over the kitchen window. An hour had passed since the other lights in the house had been put out — enough time for all to be asleep. In prison he’d learned the virtues of Zen-like patience and stillness, and could endure long hours motionless, especially if it meant the difference between life and death.

He rose silently from his makeshift blind, stretching, flexing, untensing. He was a big man, six foot four, with a weightlifter’s bulked arms and chest, and a neck as wide as a fireplug. His massive head was tucked between his shoulders, like a prizefighter.

He patted his coat pockets, feeling for the rope cut in measured lengths, duct tape, and a folded commando knife. He had no need to check on his gun, a .44 magnum, tucked snugly into the small of his back.

He would have little trouble gaining entry through the sliding glass kitchen door at the back of the house. They always left it unlocked. He’d been watching for days, always arriving after dark, disappearing before dawn, careful not to leave any signs behind.

While this opener doesn’t explicitly let you knowthat Armand is the bad guy, it sure seems like it (he is). How do you feel about opening a story with the antagonist’s point of view?

You can read more here. This book earned 4.8 stars on Amazon. While this opening page does a good job of raising compelling story questions—what is this armed and dangerous guy about to do?—there are lapses in the narrative that an editor could have helped with.

Two things jumped out at me. One is the paragraph describing the character. In deep third person point of view, and that’s where we are, the narrative should not include things that a character cannot directly see, hear, taste, feel, think, do, or know. In this case, he can’t see what he looks like, though he would know it. More than that, he would not be thinking of his body build at this moment—that’s an author intrusion.

The second thing that popped out was that the last three paragraphs of the page all began with “He . . .” The repetition begins to give the narrative a staccato feel that doesn’t contribute to a reader’s absorption. So, no editor for story reasons, an editor for craft reasons. Your thoughts?

Cover critique

The dramatic use of red and black is eye-catching, and does generate some mood—red is a signal of danger, isn’t it? The title is loud and clear. But what does the image of a bridge over a river tell you about the story inside? Didn’t mean much to me. And, once again, the author is robbed of his proper presence on the cover. Your thoughts?

Writing Craft Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling

Mystery (coming of age) The Summer Boy

Science Fiction Gundown Free ebooks.

Flogometer 1132 for Kate — would you turn this page?

Hey, if you’re isolating like I am, get that trunk novel out and get to writing . . . and/or submitting the first chapter to the Flogometer to get free insights into how it’s working.

Submissions sought. Get fresh eyes on your opening page. Submission directions below.

The Flogometer challenge: can you craft a first page that compels me to turn to the next page? Caveat: Please keep in mind that this is entirely subjective.

Note: all the Flogometer posts are here.

What's a first page in publishingland? In a properly formatted novel manuscript (double-spaced, 1-inch margins, 12-point type, etc.) there should be about 16 or 17 lines on the first page. Directions for submissions are below—they include a request to post the rest of the chapter, but that’s optional.

Before you rip into today’s submission, consider this checklist of first-page ingredients from my book, Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling.

Donald Maass,, literary agent and author of many books on writing, says, “Independent editor Ray Rhamey’s first-page checklist is an excellent yardstick for measuring what makes openings interesting.”

A First-page Checklist

• It begins to engage the reader with the character
• Something is wrong/goes wrong or challenges the character
• The character desires something.
• The character takes action. Can be internal or external action: thoughts, deeds, emotions. This does NOT include musing about whatever.
• There’s enough of a setting to orient the reader as to where things are happening.
• It happens in the NOW of the story.
• Backstory? What backstory? We’re in the NOW of the story.
• Set-up? What set-up? We’re in the NOW of the story.
• The one thing it must do: raise a story question.

---

A reminder of what you’re after here. This blog is about crafting compelling openings. Not interesting, compelling. Why does it have to meet that hurdle? First, if your work is going to an agent, you’re competing with hundreds of submissions. You have to cut through that clutter and competition with powerful storytelling and strong writing. If it’s a reader browsing in a bookstore or online, the same goes—there are scores of published books competing with yours. Yeah, you need compelling.

---

Kate sends the first page of Pay the Ferryman. The author does not want the rest of the chapter posted.

Exhausted from a week of listening to elderly women sing the praises of Sister Louisa, the previous Parish Visitor, I dragged myself to the home of the last shut-in on St. Mike’s roster.

Adele limped out to her front lawn in fuzzy slippers. She wore a thick

brown sweater over her floral puckered housedress. Though a warm day, she shivered in the breeze.

“What are you doing out here, Adele? You’ll catch your death of cold.”

“It’s June hon, don’t worry. I’ll die of the cancer first. But Daisy, what will become of her?” She pointed an arthritic finger to something up in the birch tree.

Her beloved cat, stuck in the tree, howled like a banshee.

“My cousin once coaxed her cat down by getting it to skittle onto a broom covered with a terry towel.” I said.

Adele let me assemble the makeshift landing pad in her kitchen.

We must have looked ridiculous poking at tree limbs, especially with me teetering on a step stool while Adele called out to her cat in an ever more rasping voice. Passing cars honked on the well-traveled street. After a while, a jaunty blue Chevy Caprice parked in front of my bug-eyed orange VW. A nice car for Adele’s humble neighborhood.

A 30ish man in madras shirtsleeves got out and ambled into our predicament. He caught my eye, a broad smile spreading across his face. Deep dimples framed his grin. A businessman (snip)

The voice and writing here are just fine. We’re introduced to a likable, empathetic character in What’s-her-name—the character’s name doesn’t appear until a few paragraphs from the end of the chapter. There’s no clue as to gender on this page, either. I think giving readers a character’s name right up front helps us start to create a “real” person in our minds, and we ought to know whether the character is male or female. So get that stuff up front. Should be easy—Where Adele says “It’s June, hon, . . .” could instead be “It’s June, Meg, . . .”

Okay, now that that’s taken care of, what about story? If you look at the checklist, item number two is Something is wrong/goes wrong or challenges the character. The only thing gone wrong here is the cat up in the tree. Which is not a compelling problem. For one thing, cats generally find their ways down from the trees they climb into. Meg goes right to work to solve a small, non-critical problem. All is well.

Fundamentally, there’s no real tension here, no stakes that matter, no conflict. It’s all very nice. Meg helps Adele. People honk in a friendly way. And a nice man stops his car and comes over to them. Beyond the first page, the niceness and lack of tension continue. At the end of the chapter something does happen to create story tension . . . but will a reader get there?

A thought for Kate: what if the nice man who comes up starts the encounter with a challenge? For example, instead of saying “Nice day to climb a tree.” he says “Are you trying to kill that cat?” and informs her that her approach will never work. Instant conflict, instant tension, high stakes (kill the cat).

This can turn into an argument and more troubles. For example, instead of complimenting Meg on her solution, he criticizes it: "That will never work." She tries, the cat tries but nearly falls and ends up higher in the tree, more afraid. Then he comes up with his solution that works. We see more of her character and his as we see them handle this conflict. It can turn out that the man is just having a bad day in addition to his concern for the cat and he can apologize later, but this story needs some steam to get it moving down the track.

For what it’s worth.

Ray

Tweet

Submitting to the Flogometer:

Email the following in an attachment (.doc, .docx, or .rtf preferred, no PDFs):

1. your title
2. your complete 1st chapter or prologue plus 1st chapter
3. Please include in your email permission to post it on FtQ.
Note: I’m adding a copyright notice for the writer at the end of the post. I’ll use just the first name unless I’m told I can use the full name.
4. Also, please tell me if it’s okay to post the rest of the chapter so people can turn the page.
5. And, optionally, include your permission to use it as an example in a book on writing craft if that's okay.
6. If you’re in a hurry, I’ve done “private floggings,” $50 for a first chapter.
7. If you rewrite while you wait for your turn, it’s okay with me to update the submission.

Were I you, I'd examine my first page in the light of the first-page checklist before submitting to the Flogometer.

Flogging the Quill © 2019 Ray Rhamey, excerpt © 2020 by Kate.

---

My books. You can read sample chapters and learn more about the books here.

Writing Craft Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling

Mystery (coming of age) The Summer Boy

Science Fiction Gundown Free ebooks.

 

 

Flog a BookBubber 323 Jon Mills—dose this setup scene bring you in?

Writers, send your prologue/first chapter to FtQ for a “flogging” critique. Email as an attachment. In your email, include your name, permission to use the first page, and, if it’s okay, permission to post the rest of the prologue/chapter.

Many of the folks who utilize BookBub are self-published, and because we hear over and over the need for self-published authors to have their work edited, it’s educational to take a hard look at their first pages. A poll follows concerning the need for an editor.

When you evaluate today’s opening page, consider how well it uses elements from the checklist of first-page ingredients from my book, Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling.

Donald Maass, literary agent and author of many books on writing, says, “Independent editor Ray Rhamey’s first-page checklist is an excellent yardstick for measuring what makes openings interesting.”

A First-page Checklist

• It begins to engage the reader with the character
• Something is wrong/goes wrong or challenges the character
• The character desires something.
• The character takes action. Can be internal or external action: thoughts, deeds, emotions. This does NOT include musing about whatever.
• There’s enough of a setting to orient the reader as to where things are happening.
• It happens in the NOW of the story.
• Backstory? What backstory? We’re in the NOW of the story.
• Set-up? What set-up? We’re in the NOW of the story.
• The one thing it must do: raise a story question.

---

Next is the first-chapter opening from Oblivion. A poll follows the opening page below. Should this author have hired an editor?

The Butcher of New York crouched at the corner of the auto store, scanning the darkened crossroads that separated him from the boarded-up red tavern. All around, a thick green forest swallowed the rural town of Apalachin in Tioga County; a tiny community that the world wouldn’t have known had it not been for the huge mob bust back in 1957.

“You sure this is it?” Jack asked the gangly kid with holes in his jeans. He didn’t expect him to be certain but one thing he knew, small-town kids rarely lied, especially when money was at stake. Upon arrival he’d taken the old-school approach of seeking out information. He didn’t have the luxury of lingering, and he sure as hell didn’t want whoever was behind Dana’s disappearance to know he’d arrived, and yet he couldn’t ignore the gut feeling they already knew.

The boy nodded. “Positive. It’s been empty for months. My old man asked the realtor. It’s had no interest. Yet, I’ve seen men coming and going from there for over two weeks, mostly late at night.”

It was a shot in the dark but in a town of this size, small details were hard to overlook.

Jack nodded, fished out of his pocket a fifty dollar bill and handed it to him. The teenager’s eyes lit up as he stretched it out. “And I’ll get another if I’m right?” he asked, not taking his eyes off the green.

You can read more here. This book earned 4.9 stars on Amazon. The voice and writing are okay (but there are comma faults, a cliché, and a hyphen missing from “fifty-dollar”). Those things aren’t dealbreakers if there’s a strong story to be had. So what’s this story about? Maybe Dana’s disappearance? But we don’t have anything but a name, no idea who Dana is or what he/she means to Jack. Oh, there’s some curiosity about the Butcher of New York, but that’s hardly compelling. No, this character doesn’t actually have anything he has to deal with in order to avoid trouble. I guess it’s coming, but I think there ought to be something on the first page. Your thoughts?

Cover critique

The typography is fine, the use of color with a basically grayscale image works well. But, for me, the image doesn’t communicate much. Definitely nothing about oblivion. It’s just a guy walking, though the colors and lack of it do bring a dark mood. Your thoughts?

Writing Craft Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling

Mystery (coming of age) The Summer Boy

Science Fiction Gundown Free ebooks.

Flogometer 1130 for Pamela — would you turn this page?

Hey, if you’re isolating like I am, get that trunk novel out and get to writing . . . and/or submitting the first chapter to the Flogometer to get free insights into how it’s working.

Submissions sought. Get fresh eyes on your opening page. Submission directions below.

The Flogometer challenge: can you craft a first page that compels me to turn to the next page? Caveat: Please keep in mind that this is entirely subjective.

Note: all the Flogometer posts are here.

What's a first page in publishingland? In a properly formatted novel manuscript (double-spaced, 1-inch margins, 12-point type, etc.) there should be about 16 or 17 lines on the first page. Directions for submissions are below—they include a request to post the rest of the chapter, but that’s optional.

Before you rip into today’s submission, consider this checklist of first-page ingredients from my book, Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling.

Donald Maass,, literary agent and author of many books on writing, says, “Independent editor Ray Rhamey’s first-page checklist is an excellent yardstick for measuring what makes openings interesting.”

A First-page Checklist

• It begins to engage the reader with the character
• Something is wrong/goes wrong or challenges the character
• The character desires something.
• The character takes action. Can be internal or external action: thoughts, deeds, emotions. This does NOT include musing about whatever.
• There’s enough of a setting to orient the reader as to where things are happening.
• It happens in the NOW of the story.
• Backstory? What backstory? We’re in the NOW of the story.
• Set-up? What set-up? We’re in the NOW of the story.
• The one thing it must do: raise a story question.

---

A reminder of what you’re after here. This blog is about crafting compelling openings. Not interesting, compelling. Why does it have to meet that hurdle? First, if your work is going to an agent, you’re competing with hundreds of submissions. You have to cut through that clutter and competition with powerful storytelling and strong writing. If it’s a reader browsing in a bookstore or online, the same goes—there are scores of published books competing with yours. Yeah, you need compelling.

---

Pamela sends a revision of her first page of Malia’s Courage. As usual, the rest of the narrative is after the break.

Malia Hudson stared at the office email on the laptop screen as if the words could change. Flagged as urgent from the new business manager, she read it again.

Do not begin your morning agenda. Wait for me in my office immediately this morning.

Mr. Matthews

Not a friendly message. Her spine rattled. What the issue entailed, she had no idea. Not how she envisioned her first day on the job designing condos.

Scurrying out of her office, a fluttery sensation filled her abdomen. Her heels clicked along the tile hallway until she entered through the open door of the man’s empty office. Seated in a plush, leather chair in front of his desk, her toe tapped against the carpet, keeping up with her concerns. What could be so pressing on her first day at work? Or was something wrong?

Hands clammy, she splayed her fingers for a moment in an attempt to cool down. A gaze out the window across the central valley revealed the red landscape near her mother’s sacred burial site, tucked in below the majesty of grandiose Haleakala̅ Crater. What a comforting sight to help ease her nerves. So great to return home to Maui and find a much-needed job. But the way the manager’s email read nagged at her, so unlike the welcome emails from the director and company architect.

The protagonist, Malia, is clearly perturbed by the email. Why she interprets it as unfriendly is unclear to me--it’s brusque, but not overtly hostile. So we have tension in the character . . . but not, for me, in the narrative. We don’t know if she has a problem; none has been included. We don’t know the stakes of failing to deal with the problem that we don’t know she has.

To me, this opening and the bulk of the chapter that follows is setup. Characters are introduced, issue are raised . . . but Malia doesn’t acquire a problem other than being concerned about losing her job. Even though she is a sympathetic and likeable character, losing a job, without dire consequences, isn’t enough to make a narrative compelling, IMO. Try starting the story when something that truly threatens her happens and she is forced to act.

Ray

Tweet

Submitting to the Flogometer:

Email the following in an attachment (.doc, .docx, or .rtf preferred, no PDFs):

1. your title
2. your complete 1st chapter or prologue plus 1st chapter
3. Please include in your email permission to post it on FtQ.
Note: I’m adding a copyright notice for the writer at the end of the post. I’ll use just the first name unless I’m told I can use the full name.
4. Also, please tell me if it’s okay to post the rest of the chapter so people can turn the page.
5. And, optionally, include your permission to use it as an example in a book on writing craft if that's okay.
6. If you’re in a hurry, I’ve done “private floggings,” $50 for a first chapter.
7. If you rewrite while you wait for your turn, it’s okay with me to update the submission.

Were I you, I'd examine my first page in the light of the first-page checklist before submitting to the Flogometer.

Flogging the Quill © 2019 Ray Rhamey, excerpt © 2020 by Pamela.

---

My books. You can read sample chapters and learn more about the books here.

Writing Craft Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling

Mystery (coming of age) The Summer Boy

Science Fiction Gundown Free ebooks.

 

Guest post: 5 Surefire Ways to Tell If You Need an Editor

My guest writer, Desiree Villena, is a writer with Reedsy, a marketplace that connects authors and publishers with  editors, designers, and marketers. Over to you, Renee . . .

How do you know if you need an editor?

Needing an editor isn’t like a medical condition — you can’t exactly diagnose someone as either needing or not needing an editor. That said, certain patterns exhibited by some writers tend to mean they’ll benefit from working with a professional editor. And hiring a professional editor isn’t just about improving one book, after all! It’s also about improving your process as a whole, since an experienced professional can really teach you a lot. With that in mind, here are five ways you can tell if you need to work with an editor to improve your writing.

1. You’re too precious about your work

No writer has ever sat down on a sunny day and admitted, of their own accord, ‘Man, it really seems like I’m too precious about my writing.’ Writers tend to arrive at that thought after the tender nod of external feedback has caused them to react defensively or even aggressively. You might not think that you consider your own work perfect, but if you respond to people’s feedback with hostility, you really are the epitome of “precious”.

If this sounds like you, I strongly urge you to consider hiring an editor, as they’ll have suggestions that could help tighten up the plot of your story, trim out unnecessary scenes, enhance character, and show you how to self-edit more effectively by creating distance between yourself and your project.

If that sounds really painful, it’s just further proof that you might be too emotionally attached to your work to edit it objectively yourself. Besides, it’s important to learn to handle external feedback. Even if you publish your book without listening to anyone’s opinion, being able to accept constructive criticism is an essential skill for a writer’s survival. If you can’t handle a single negative comment, what’s going to happen when you start getting book reviews?

2. You’ve never shown anybody your work

Not every writer has an MFA under their belt. Sometimes, a shy writer will tentatively send their secret project to a literary agent, and find themselves landing a publishing deal without having shared their writing with anyone before. Miracles like this do happen, but if you would rather not bet on a miracle, it’s always safer to consult an editor before attempting to find a literary agent, to make sure that your work is up to standard.

The truth is, because the ‘slush piles’ of submissions that agents go through are so enormous, minor issues or mistakes in your writing could determine whether your work is accepted or not. Many writers receive rejections and take these to be a sort of satisfaction survey, indicative of their worth as an artist. But had they consulted an editor to make sure their work started off strong before submitting it, they might have received a different response. If you’ve never shared your work with anyone, and especially if you don’t have someone in your immediate circle you can ask for feedback, hiring an editor means maximizing your project’s chances of literary success.

3. You have too many ideas

Another predicament that should lead you straight to a professional editor is having too many ideas. If you have grand ideas of crafting the book that will appeal to every reader, like a paranormal romance set in the Roman Empire that is suddenly overtaken by zombies and a mysterious conspiracy of cyber-assassins, for example, you are in dire need of an editor. An editor will be able to see the value in your ideas, while also telling you which parts you need to sharpen up and which overwritten parts may need to go. (If that sounds painful, refer back to point #1.)

Yes, sometimes heterogeneous ideas can be a powerful asset for authors looking to write quirky literary fiction — but most of the time, mismatched elements are the result of simple overzealousness. So do yourself a favor and get an editor to look over your ideas. You might be trying to write two novels at once and not realize it!

4. You don’t have a strong sense of genre

Following from the point above, an editor can also help you if you aren’t sure what genre you’re primarily working within. This might sound like it’s not an especially necessary aspect of the writing process, but in truth, the most sophisticated projects will always exist in significant relation to previous works in their genre.

Think of it like this. If you know the convention for your genre is for there to be a happy ending, you might consider playing around with that trope in dialogue with existing works. If you end your work with the villain getting the better of the protagonist, for example, or a mystery remaining unsolved, you could make a powerful point by defying the expectations of the genre.

It depends on how you handle it, of course, but if your sense of genre tropes isn’t strong enough, you’ll need an editor’s help — and while we’re at it, I’m prescribing an intense dose of reading around your subject, too! Reading books similar to your work in progress will always help you become more familiar with your target market. If your target market is children’s books, for example, your editor will be able to direct you to essential children’s lit, as well as help you with the early stages of your marketing strategy (in other words envisioning your book on the right shelf of a bookstore).

5. You aren’t writing in your first language

There are so many authors writing in English that people sometimes forget that English isn’t everyone’s first language. Many excellent writers who wrote directly in English (not in translation), weren’t actually native speakers — think of Nabokov, for example! Or, to bring it closer to home, I’m writing this post in my second language, too, even though you might not have thought about that possibility.

No matter how fluent you are as a second language speaker, you may sometimes make tiny mistakes such as using the wrong preposition or getting punctuation wrong because your first language uses speech marks differently. That’s okay! You’re already accomplishing something that, to many, would seem completely impossible. Still, as a non-native speaker, you are likely to particularly benefit from an editor, just to eliminate any minor linguistic errors that could detract from the great first impression your writing should make. A copy editor or proofreader will be able to clean up your manuscript in no time!

I hope these ways to tell whether you need an editor help you weigh your individual circumstances and come to a decision. The fact that you’re on this blog, reading this post, indicates that you’re on the right track, researching your way along — so I have no doubt you’ll find your way!

Renee

Flog a BookBubber 322 Jeff Bond—doe this setup scene bring you in?

Writers, send your prologue/first chapter to FtQ for a “flogging” critique. Email as an attachment. In your email, include your name, permission to use the first page, and, if it’s okay, permission to post the rest of the prologue/chapter.

Many of the folks who utilize BookBub are self-published, and because we hear over and over the need for self-published authors to have their work edited, it’s educational to take a hard look at their first pages. A poll follows concerning the need for an editor.

When you evaluate today’s opening page, consider how well it uses elements from the checklist of first-page ingredients from my book, Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling.

Donald Maass, literary agent and author of many books on writing, says, “Independent editor Ray Rhamey’s first-page checklist is an excellent yardstick for measuring what makes openings interesting.”

A First-page Checklist

• It begins to engage the reader with the character
• Something is wrong/goes wrong or challenges the character
• The character desires something.
• The character takes action. Can be internal or external action: thoughts, deeds, emotions. This does NOT include musing about whatever.
• There’s enough of a setting to orient the reader as to where things are happening.
• It happens in the NOW of the story.
• Backstory? What backstory? We’re in the NOW of the story.
• Set-up? What set-up? We’re in the NOW of the story.
• The one thing it must do: raise a story question.

---

Next is the first-chapter opening from Blackquest 40. A poll follows the opening page below. Should this author have hired an editor?

I am in the middle of solving homelessness when my boss raps his knuckles on my cubicle border. I know it’s Paul—my eyes stay on the computer monitor, what with an intractable social ill hanging in the balance—by the timid tap...tap-tap pattern. Also the smell. Paul eats McDonald’s every morning for breakfast. He’s a Sausage McGriddle man.

“Deb, we’re heading up to the meeting—”

“Busy.” I squint around the San Francisco street map on-screen, mousing over a blinking dot labeled Wanda. She isn’t moving. None of them are moving.

Paul sighs. “We’re all busy. But it’s a Company-All, so if you—”

“Is it a Susan meeting?”

“No. It’s the kickoff for Blackquest 40.”

“Means nothing to me.” I click Wanda. Why aren’t they moving? Database problem?

Paul says the meeting invite should have explained everything. Blackquest 40 is a training exercise, mandatory for every employee in the company.

I look up and see that, indeed, he has the whole team in tow. Jared in his My Code Can’t Fix Your Stupid trucker hat. Minosh fingering his spiral-bound notebook, peeking at a clock. They are watching me—all 5’2” if you count the platinum spikes, and a decade younger than them—like zoo visitors wondering if the glass is thick enough around this freak-colored poison (snip)

You can read more here. This book earned 4.4 stars on Amazon. The writing and voice are fine, and we have an idea of the setting—an office environment of some kind. I liked the sassy voice of the character, so that part’s fine. But what of story questions? The boss wants her to go to a meeting. She doesn’t want to. So there’s conflict. But what are the stakes? No idea given here. The character has a problem, but it seems to be a computer problem, which is hardly compelling unless something valuable to her is in danger, and we don’t know that yet. So, compelling? Not here. Your thoughts?

Cover critique

I have no idea what is going on in this image, and it doesn’t help me decipher the title (what does it mean?), but the color and image are strong and evoke a certain mood of action ahead. But the designer did the author a terrible disservice in putting his name sideways and out of the way. Color and image worked for me in those ways. Your thoughts?

Writing Craft Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling

Mystery (coming of age) The Summer Boy

Science Fiction Gundown Free ebooks.

Flog a BookBubber 321 Angelique S. Anderson—can a dragon be a sympathetic character that raises story questions all on one page?

Writers, send your prologue/first chapter to FtQ for a “flogging” critique. Email as an attachment. In your email, include your name, permission to use the first page, and, if it’s okay, permission to post the rest of the prologue/chapter.

Many of the folks who utilize BookBub are self-published, and because we hear over and over the need for self-published authors to have their work edited, it’s educational to take a hard look at their first pages. A poll follows concerning the need for an editor.

When you evaluate today’s opening page, consider how well it uses elements from the checklist of first-page ingredients from my book, Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling.

Donald Maass, literary agent and author of many books on writing, says, “Independent editor Ray Rhamey’s first-page checklist is an excellent yardstick for measuring what makes openings interesting.”

A First-page Checklist

• It begins to engage the reader with the character
• Something is wrong/goes wrong or challenges the character
• The character desires something.
• The character takes action. Can be internal or external action: thoughts, deeds, emotions. This does NOT include musing about whatever.
• There’s enough of a setting to orient the reader as to where things are happening.
• It happens in the NOW of the story.
• Backstory? What backstory? We’re in the NOW of the story.
• Set-up? What set-up? We’re in the NOW of the story.
• The one thing it must do: raise a story question.

---

Next is the first chapter opening from The Dragon Lady. A poll follows the opening page below. Should this author have hired an editor?

The dim glow from a lone gaslight revealed one flea-bitten rat scampering down the main street of Dobbinsturn Parish, his bewhiskered nose sniffing for crumbs. The rodent’s ears perked forward at a strange new sound, then he raised his head to sniff an interesting aroma wafting to him on the breeze.

Given any common sense at all, the furry little beast would have kept running, but it was his fate that landed him in the knife-sharp claws of the most glorious white dragon a rat may ever hope to see. If rats hoped for such things, that is.

The radiant white dragon spent the night soaring over the boroughs of London, his iridescent scales glowing under the gentlest cast of moonlight. The putrid stench of black death invaded his nostrils as he swooped down and grabbed the wriggling rat in his claws, tossing it into his mouth without chewing and swallowing the gamey little thing whole.

One final act of goodwill. The white dragon wasn’t sure of his end, but he felt it closing in on his sickly body. He doubted he would even have the strength to fly after this eve.

As if on cue, the surrounding atmosphere changed, he felt the presence of his dark counterpart like a fog that descended upon his beloved London. He sucked in a deep breath through his large scaly nostrils, wishing to savor this moment for all of eternity. There was no doubt he would miss the sights and smells of Earth.

You can read more here. This book earned 4.5 stars on Amazon. I'm a fan of dragon stories, and this page holds promise. The writing and voice are just fine, and we’re introduced to a sympathetic dragon character. A character that is anticipating immediate peril. Things don’t look good for the white dragon, and story questions are raised. For me, a little less on the rat and a little more on how this dragon relates to a future human character would be preferred. But with the caliber of writing and my interest in dragons, this works for me. Your thoughts?

Cover critique

A striking cover for me. It immediately communicates an historical quality to the story inside, and the gears communicate steam punk to devotees of that genre. And we know there’s a handsome woman character waiting for us. The art is colorful, rich, and high-caliber, and that also communicates a sense of quality. Your thoughts?

Writing Craft Mastering the Craft of Compelling Storytelling

Mystery (coming of age) The Summer Boy

Science Fiction Gundown Free ebooks.